Sorry IFs (Imaginary Friends)...but I need to vent. Actually I am not even sure it's venting, maybe I could call it concerned typing. The preparations for the wedding are going along smoothly for the most part. We have the church almost booked (I need to send the deposit in, but am waiting for the wedding account checks to arrive). We have the reception/BBQ/summer house rental almost booked (see reasoning above). And now we have my mother telling all sorts of family and friends that they have a place to stay. *sigh*
I know that it is part of my family/regional mindset that if you go someplace for a holiday and you have family there...you stay with family & take them out to dinner and maybe a lunch too as a thank you. Everyone just smiles and nods. Sometimes, that works great; especially if you are a kid and live a million miles away from other kids your age and your cousins come to play. Sometimes it doesn't. What if you wanted some space? What if you really needed to get things done that week? Sounds a little selfish I know, but I have learned something...sometimes you need to be selfish to survive.
The house is four bedrooms, sleeps about eight and there is space for more. I was thinking that since Mom ad Dad are paying for the wedding, including the house, (I really do have great parents), they would stay there or at our apartment in the city. I also thought that since my sister (& niece and hubby) need to save money, she would also stay there, at least for a couple of days. I thought that maybe it would be nice to offer the same for the fiance's family (mom, dad and bro), but they are of a different mind-set and I doubt they would take me up on the offer. So, in my happy little mind I thought four plus the fiance and me is six...six is good...six is normal...six people won't be tripping over each other, as we prep for the wedding (food, tables, flowers, etc).
My mother has told my cousin that if she comes up with the money for the plane ticket (yes my family is flying in...I come from the middle of nowhere) she can stay with us...I have not been close to this cousin, ever. My sister was always closer to her, both in age and in terms of babysitting her, hanging out, gossiping, etc. Oh well, that's fine. Then she tells the same thing to her best friend and youngest daughter. Seriously mom? Fine, I know your best friend is like another mother (more for my sis than me), and the youngest daughter was the first kid I ever babysat and I was her favorite for a while... but now, the count is at eight...not counting the fiance and I.
Where the hell are we going to stay? Sure, the teenagers could sleep on the floor...and we have our place in the city, but I don't want to drive 45 minutes everyday to get my family and everyone else just so I can entertain them...or have them underfoot while I am trying to get all the last minute things done. I can't have them help a whole lot, because they don't live here or visit more than once every four years. I know where I am going and why, and trust me, they would want the explanation of 'why?' if I asked.
I know things will work out. I know I will be stressed before the wedding no matter what (hello type A personality). I know my mom means well. I understand her reasons behind inviting people...but dammit it's like a small child trying to "help" make christmas dinner. It all works out in the end and there are small moments of fun, but it would go a lot smoother if there was only me in the kitchen.
Thanks for listening...I feel better now...a little
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
17 February 2011
22 June 2010
The mom purse
I am not a mom, but this past weekend my boyfriend managed, with one simple act, to turn my purse into a 'mom purse.'
We all know what a mom purse is. It's the most real world application to a bag of holding we may ever see. How our moms and our friends who are moms got that much...stuff...into a purse was always a mystery and why...
After babysitting for many years, I now know why; because you never know. You never know when you are going to need a swimmie diaper in the dead of winter. You never know when you are going to need six extra sets of keys. You never know when you will need those double A batteries. You just never know.
My best friend is always prepared. I have used that swimmie diaper in the dead of winter. To tire out an active toddler at the hotel in our neighborhood. In fact, the purse was prepared and I wasn't; I had to run back to my apartment and get my swimsuit, but the kid and purse were prepared. And those double A batteries, are really handy when a new toy is purchased or given as a gift and those big eyes look up at you and ask you to 'fix it'. My best friend is a great mom with great kids, who know that in their mom's purse is everything they may need to survive (sippy cups and granola bars, along with the iphone that has their favorite games)
My mom had all these keys. I still don't know what they are for. She says she does, but sometimes I think she just guesses. She does have fingernail clippers, business cards of businesses in another city (car shops, jewelers, furniture stores, etc.), gum and a small screwdriver set. She would always clean her purse out after a long trip (usually once a month). I would watch as all the garbage that had accumulated, from my sister and I (sorry mom), was tossed. Then I would watch her put everything back in after some thought of 'do I really need this.' The answer would usually be 'yes' and soon everything was neatly packed away. Neat and tidy until the next time my sister or I needed those fingernail clippers, or the screwdriver set to tighten the screws on our glasses.
Back to this past weekend. We were going out for an afternoon play and then dinner afterward. I wasn't even carrying a very big purse. Just large enough for my little change purse I use as a wallet, my phone, my T pass (subway card), and a bottle of water. Yes, I was carrying a bottle of water, it was hot and muggy out and I can get cranky if I don't have anything to drink. We got to the play and they had food. Yay! After munching on this afternoon snack, he turned my cute little stylish purse into the mom purse. He took the extra napkins and put them in my purse. There was room, but really? He didn't want to throw them away and since we were on a bench and not at a table, just leaving them there was not an option in his mind. So throughout the play and dinner afterward (playbill now in purse as well), I had a mini-stack of napkins in my purse. I laughed and joked with him about what he did, but frankly if he does this again...I'm gonna need a bigger purse.
We all know what a mom purse is. It's the most real world application to a bag of holding we may ever see. How our moms and our friends who are moms got that much...stuff...into a purse was always a mystery and why...
After babysitting for many years, I now know why; because you never know. You never know when you are going to need a swimmie diaper in the dead of winter. You never know when you are going to need six extra sets of keys. You never know when you will need those double A batteries. You just never know.
My best friend is always prepared. I have used that swimmie diaper in the dead of winter. To tire out an active toddler at the hotel in our neighborhood. In fact, the purse was prepared and I wasn't; I had to run back to my apartment and get my swimsuit, but the kid and purse were prepared. And those double A batteries, are really handy when a new toy is purchased or given as a gift and those big eyes look up at you and ask you to 'fix it'. My best friend is a great mom with great kids, who know that in their mom's purse is everything they may need to survive (sippy cups and granola bars, along with the iphone that has their favorite games)
My mom had all these keys. I still don't know what they are for. She says she does, but sometimes I think she just guesses. She does have fingernail clippers, business cards of businesses in another city (car shops, jewelers, furniture stores, etc.), gum and a small screwdriver set. She would always clean her purse out after a long trip (usually once a month). I would watch as all the garbage that had accumulated, from my sister and I (sorry mom), was tossed. Then I would watch her put everything back in after some thought of 'do I really need this.' The answer would usually be 'yes' and soon everything was neatly packed away. Neat and tidy until the next time my sister or I needed those fingernail clippers, or the screwdriver set to tighten the screws on our glasses.
Back to this past weekend. We were going out for an afternoon play and then dinner afterward. I wasn't even carrying a very big purse. Just large enough for my little change purse I use as a wallet, my phone, my T pass (subway card), and a bottle of water. Yes, I was carrying a bottle of water, it was hot and muggy out and I can get cranky if I don't have anything to drink. We got to the play and they had food. Yay! After munching on this afternoon snack, he turned my cute little stylish purse into the mom purse. He took the extra napkins and put them in my purse. There was room, but really? He didn't want to throw them away and since we were on a bench and not at a table, just leaving them there was not an option in his mind. So throughout the play and dinner afterward (playbill now in purse as well), I had a mini-stack of napkins in my purse. I laughed and joked with him about what he did, but frankly if he does this again...I'm gonna need a bigger purse.
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