17 February 2011

I am nothing like my mother...

Sorry IFs (Imaginary Friends)...but I need to vent. Actually I am not even sure it's venting, maybe I could call it concerned typing. The preparations for the wedding are going along smoothly for the most part. We have the church almost booked (I need to send the deposit in, but am waiting for the wedding account checks to arrive). We have the reception/BBQ/summer house rental almost booked (see reasoning above). And now we have my mother telling all sorts of family and friends that they have a place to stay. *sigh*

I know that it is part of my family/regional mindset that if you go someplace for a holiday and you have family there...you stay with family & take them out to dinner and maybe a lunch too as a thank you. Everyone just smiles and nods. Sometimes, that works great; especially if you are a kid and live a million miles away from other kids your age and your cousins come to play. Sometimes it doesn't. What if you wanted some space? What if you really needed to get things done that week? Sounds a little selfish I know, but I have learned something...sometimes you need to be selfish to survive.

The house is four bedrooms, sleeps about eight and there is space for more. I was thinking that since Mom ad Dad are paying for the wedding, including the house, (I really do have great parents), they would stay there or at our apartment in the city. I also thought that since my sister (& niece and hubby) need to save money, she would also stay there, at least for a couple of days. I thought that maybe it would be nice to offer the same for the fiance's family (mom, dad and bro), but they are of a different mind-set and I doubt they would take me up on the offer. So, in my happy little mind I thought four plus the fiance and me is six...six is good...six is normal...six people won't be tripping over each other, as we prep for the wedding (food, tables, flowers, etc).

My mother has told my cousin that if she comes up with the money for the plane ticket (yes my family is flying in...I come from the middle of nowhere) she can stay with us...I have not been close to this cousin, ever. My sister was always closer to her, both in age and in terms of babysitting her, hanging out, gossiping, etc. Oh well, that's fine. Then she tells the same thing to her best friend and youngest daughter. Seriously mom? Fine, I know your best friend is like another mother (more for my sis than me), and the youngest daughter was the first kid I ever babysat and I was her favorite for a while... but now, the count is at eight...not counting the fiance and I.

Where the hell are we going to stay? Sure, the teenagers could sleep on the floor...and we have our place in the city, but I don't want to drive 45 minutes everyday to get my family and everyone else just so I can entertain them...or have them underfoot while I am trying to get all the last minute things done. I can't have them help a whole lot, because they don't live here or visit more than once every four years. I know where I am going and why, and trust me, they would want the explanation of 'why?' if I asked.

I know things will work out. I know I will be stressed before the wedding no matter what (hello type A personality). I know my mom means well. I understand her reasons behind inviting people...but dammit it's like a small child trying to "help" make christmas dinner. It all works out in the end and there are small moments of fun, but it would go a lot smoother if there was only me in the kitchen.

Thanks for listening...I feel better now...a little

No comments:

Post a Comment